INTERVIEW WITH WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

LONDON – September 15.  The London Journal reporter sat down to talk with William Shakespeare the day after opening night of his new play at the Globe, “The Errors of Time,” to discuss life, the state of drama, and mysteries of the universe.

“The five-act structure is still the best formula for plays,” said the famed dramatist.  “I don’t care what those pribbling canker blossoms say about the three-act structure.  Five Acts is the way to go.  It makes for a longer evening.  People want their money’s worth when they come to the theater.”

Your new production employs some astounding special effects.  The Chronosphere, in particular.  For those who have not yet seen it, the Chronosphere is a device that resembles a large metal ball with wires and gears that produces flashes and rumbles as it activates.

“Those are all Burbage. The man knows how to make an entrance.”

By this do you mean the esteemed actor Richard Burbage designed the device?

“He drew a sketch from my description and built the thing piece by piece.  It required hours to assemble, and then we had to disassemble it to bring the pieces inside the theatre and reassemble them for the production.”

Mr. Burbage plays Antipholus of Balikesir, a time traveler from “the future age” intent on seeing your plays.

“No doubt any time traveler would seek to view my productions.  Burbage is a powerful presence on stage, with a prodigious memory for dialogue.  He is an effective stage fighter, which we showcase in the final scene of the play.  He and Kemp forge a remarkable team.  A logistical nightmare, having two sets of twins, but I relish a challenge.”

Mr. Will Kemp was delightful in “Romeo and Juliet” and “Much Ado About Nothing.”

“A superb clown indeed. He has a talent for improvisation, which can distract lesser actors when he veers off script.  However, he always returns to the meat of the story in due time. This young man Armin does a creditable job as the nefarious Dr. Pinch.”

You explore a wondrous theory of persons from the future traveling through the epochs to our era.  How did the idea develop?

“It stems from an unusual encounter with two peculiar strangers.  They sought me out at my workplace—the George Inn.  I suspected it was the usual fanbase coming to praise my work. Instead, they asked truly probing questions about my dramas and comedies.  Almost as if they had been studying them for years when in fact, some of those characters have only existed on stage for a few months.”

They must have attended many performances to know the plays so well.

“I would have concluded so; however, they mentioned a few plays by name which I have never heard of, though the titles have intrigued me to the point of contemplating new adventures to dramatize.”

What made these people so peculiar?  Their manner of dress or speech?

“The apothecary asked such intriguing questions about motives and intentions.  And the other man carried unusual tools in his pockets which he strove to conceal—except for the small metal device that he had in his hand and kept raising and clicking.  At one point he said it was his ‘phone.’  What is a ‘phone’?  He would not elaborate.”

Perhaps an inspiration for the Chronosphere?

“The Chronosphere is a massive device.  This was but a handful of metal in a rectangular shape that glinted in the sunlight.  Quite intriguing but alas, I did not secure a good enough look at the device to comprehend it in detail.”

It appears you wrote this latest play rather quickly.

“The scenario emerged like forked lightning.  A writer must make use of time, let not advantage slip.  One must capture the muse when She visits. And of course, Art imitates Life imitates Art.”

A marvelous observation. On that note, several lines of dialogue from your play have already become very popular.  I hear people quoting them in the streets.

“My ambassadors of dialogue.  Great publicity for the show.”

The play is destined to run for several weeks at the Globe Theatre.  I’ve heard rumors that Queen Elizabeth may attend one of the performances.

“It would be an honor to have Her Majesty attend the play,” said Shakespeare.  “I welcome patrons of every economic and social strata.  The Globe greets all citizens who wish to view our fine production.”

And the two strangers who inspired you.  Have they seen the show?

“I have not seen or spoken to them since production began.  However, I predict at some future date they will see a staging of this program and remember me well.  Perhaps they will even return to share what opinion they hold of my latest work.  I look forward to such a gathering.”

Thank you, Mr. William Shakespeare, for speaking with us today.

“Anytime.  As I have always maintained, the play is the thing.”