CHAPTER 23 - Prime Time Crime

There’s a weird dynamic when a woman flirts with a man in the presence of a woman she knows is interested in him.  And despite their protestations, Chantell knew they were a couple.

The flirter feels powerful enough to make a play for the other’s man. She has to self-identify as alpha. She attempts to intimidate the other female through chutzpa and brazen innuendo.  Comments she would normally never say escape her mouth in Costco-sized proportions. If the other female self-identifies as weaker, she will sit quietly or try to convince the man it’s time to go.

Freddie was not weak.  “You should have seen him save me from an angry group of sailors.”

“I wish I had.”  Chantell upped her game by licking her upper lip.

Dan tried to place the incident.  “You mean when I threw—”

“He tackled me into the ocean thirty feet above the water.”

“I doubt it was thir—”

“Maybe higher.”

DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS POACHED OR SCRAMBLED?

The phenomenon in which Dan finds himself—caught between Freddie and Chantell vying for his attention—is known as “mate poaching.”   The behavior creates tension and discomfort, especially if the flirting woman is aware of the man’s relationship with the other woman.  In all cases, here are some guidelines for Dan.

STAY CALM!!!!  In all cases stay calm!  Anger, jealousy, vengeance will escalate the situation.  Your safety is the top priority.  Anything you do or say might cause someone to cut you.  Don’t be nervous.

Reflect on your feelings.  Do you feel threatened, jealous, insecure?  Understanding your emotions will help you respond effectively.

Trust your partner. She knows what’s going on and her response will indicate her commitment.

Redirect the conversation.  Steer the discussion toward neutral ground.  Sharing a fun experience fighting dinosaurs is a great way to change the subject.

Avoid confrontation!  Reacting impulsively can exacerbate the situation.  Do not vigorously attack the aggressive woman who has an android assistant or can kick your ass.

Acknowledge their feelings.  Listen attentively.  The eyes—watch the eyes!  Make sure no one has a death ray.

Prioritize your well-being.  Distance yourself from the aggressor.

Stay aware.

Stay calm.

Calm.

ALWAYS CALM, DAMMIT!